Перейти к содержимому

Oscar Блог

  • записи
    4
  • комментариев
    7
  • просмотров
    7439

Diary


Oscar

438 просмотров

Sometimes I think what has happened to us? Is it possible to become strangers after years of such hand in hand. And is it worth of regret? Maybe all this emotional experience is nothing but our fantasy. Maybe we like to feel ourselves unhappy. So we build castles in the sky. We don't know for sure and we don't want to know what it is. Is it something real or something we would like to have, something we are lack in, something we would like to imagine cause we miss it in real life? And I ask myself what it was. If there was at least any spark between us how it managed to vanish and we didn't notice it, being too concerned about our invented passion and feelings. Before we couldn't breathe separately and then started ignoring and hiding from each other like strangers, like thieves in the night. What is it? Is it so romantic? Or is it love? And why does it usually have the same end? Everything starts perfectly and ends awfully. The same scenario, everywhere, always. At least with me. Why U turn ur back when a person gives u attention and care and love? Do u start to take it for granted? Is it so difficult to say I love u or I don't? I want to be with u or have no desire to do it? U say I love u and u are so indifferent sometimes that I can hardly understand such love. Ok, sometimes we want to stay alone, to think, just to get calm, after some romantic period, it becomes a tradition, normal way of life. And here it's important to understand if it was real love or just a flame. But how to understand it? That's the point. Sometimes it's easy to take flame for something more. To believe that's it, I have been waiting for it all my life. But oops, no, it wasn't it. First I can't say what I am waiting for, whom I am waiting for. Sure, sometimes I draw a picture of my ideal man, ideal, lover, ideal hero, ideal husband, but, but, but I am not a little girl and understand there are no ideal men. So U look for smb alike, so to speak. At last u will fall in love with some bastard (sure, u will know about it very late) and again it goes. U start thinking that no luck in love, at least for u (I mean myself). And again the problem what to do, where to go, when I will be happy, when I get my ideal man, whom I am worth of. U say f… and starts a brand new day with this constant pain in ur heart, ur mind, ur body. So, here two variants are possible in my opinion. U start replace these bastards by other bastards (not the right way, I think). Or u start waiting for this superman, who is late a LITTLE bit (partly the roots of depression are here).Don't know what to do if both these variants aren't suitable. And they are not, I guess. So, anybody help me. It looks like I can't deal with my life, my happiness. Want to be as happy as a sand boy. Oh, God, let's think what can be done here. But for sure no cool reflections will help. When u see the bastard u forget all the pain, he caused u. Maybe that's it, the pain u get from each experience. This feeling of being alive…

Now I'm listening to my dear Franky, his timeless songs. Srange in such moments I can be what I am, usually I play. Play different roles, parts. Oh, yep, life is like a season, like a cycle. I like it "life is meant for living". What to do, keep on hoping sth will change or just give it up, pay no attention. But U need this attention so much, damn it. What to do then? This bloody attention that every woman needs. We used to love each other. What am I writing??? Don't know what I am doing, thinking about. F... it, f... it, f... it.

Actually, didn't want to be that rude, but life makes me behave like this or maybe it's me who makes it. Talking about love. What is love actually? I'd put it like this:

A kind of emotional state, during which u feel wonderful, splendid, yahoo, but the main thing is that u are absolutely BLIND and STUPID. `Cause u don't want to notice any unpleasant details of ur partner, and u'd rather do.

I wonder how many men and women are in the same situation and they continue getting in this situation and are not likely to stop. They suffer but they don't stop.

Therefore, the conclusion is that they enjoy it.

0 комментариев


Recommended Comments

Нет комментариев для отображения

Гость
Добавить комментарий...

×   Вы вставили отформатированное содержимое.   Удалить форматирование

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Ваша ссылка была автоматически встроена.   Отобразить как ссылку

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Загрузка...
×
×
  • Создать...